Last night, I recorded the final episode of Season I of the Shalom Project Podcast. As I finished, I felt a mix of relief and accomplishment. Seven months ago, I was terrified to share my story and use my voice to make a difference. I was too self-conscious, too afraid of “getting in trouble,” and overwhelmed by the fear that speaking freely might lead to rejection or punishment. It was a tangled web of emotions—pain, uncertainty, and the weight of my past experiences.

Choosing to speak up, to put myself out there again, was one of the scariest and most challenging decisions I’ve made—and stuck with.

But by God’s grace, the support of close friends, and the work of His Spirit, I was able to do something I couldn’t on my own: share my heart again.

A Journey into Uncertainty

In 2021, after stepping away from the church I once helped lead, I found myself deeply disillusioned. Walking away or staying is an intensely personal decision, and for my family and me, leaving was the choice we felt led to make through God’s guidance and power.

While it was the right decision for that moment, it was only the start of an uncertain—and unexpectedly beautiful—journey.

God brought healing into the middle of all that uncertainty. It was as if the uncertainty itself drew us closer to Him. I’m talking about real closeness, the kind where I could sense God saying, “I see you, Mitch,” and me responding, “I see You too, Lord.”

For the first time, I began questioning what it truly meant to be a Christian. Had I gotten it all wrong? Had I misled or hurt people? Did I even deserve to keep going as a minister? After a decade of ministry starting at age 19, I couldn’t help but wonder: Should I have ever been a minister in the first place?

I wrestled with memories of faces, moments, and mistakes—false teachings, narrow answers, prideful advice, and entitlement I didn’t even realize I carried. I remembered dismissing the work of God in others simply because their doctrine didn’t match mine. I was becoming judgmental, critical, and self-righteous—traits Jesus himself condemned.

A Sobering Reminder

Jesus’s words to the Pharisees in Matthew 12 hit me hard:

"Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined… Either make the tree good and its fruit will be good, or make the tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit."

I realized I’d been looking at good fruit and labeling it as bad simply because it didn’t fit my framework. This realization scared me deeply. How could I, in God’s name, think I was doing so well yet be steps away from blaspheming His Spirit?

But God didn’t give up on me. He pressed gently but firmly, moving me out of who I was becoming and into the uncertain, uncomfortable newness of life.

Refocusing on People

On a prayer call with a teammate at Impact Campus Ministries, we prayed about my pain and my friends’ struggles with the Church. He said something that shifted my perspective:

"What if we measured the success of our ministries not by how much we accomplished but by how few people we hurt?"

Imagine a world like that:

• Where the pain of the overlooked is met with dignity (Acts 6; Deut. 10).

• Where those on the margins—socially, politically, ethnically, or otherwise—are treated with compassion (2 Samuel 9; John 4; Acts 8, 10, 15).

• Where disagreement doesn’t mean the end of friendship.

What if we re-centered on loving people unconditionally, the way God loves us? What if we stopped using our beliefs to force others to become like us, instead holding space for them as they are?

This isn’t about blindly accepting everything; it’s about leading with open hearts and hands. God doesn’t force His followers into obedience—He invites them. Why shouldn’t we do the same?

Season I: A Discipline of Love

Season I of the Shalom Project Podcast is complete. It’s not a testament to my greatness but to God’s grace in using a scared Black man, still figuring out how to follow Jesus after a decade of mistakes and heartbreak.

This season is for anyone wrestling with the loss of a church they once called home. For those searching for solidarity in a time when it feels scarce.

Season II launches in January 2025, with Christian K. and Leslie K. joining as permanent team members. Together, we’ll continue exploring healing, wholeness, and the Text.

Until then, let this podcast be a reminder: Love is doctrine too. And when we bring our faith and actions into alignment, we look a little more like Jesus every day.

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Photo by Sheldon on Unsplash